It has been a little more than nine months since my last post. And it was in these nine months that I was figuring out whether this blog, was something I would like to actually pursue and maintain.
I had to wrestle with myself, emotionally and mentally, on how personal this blog would be. I have always been a very open individual my whole life and that has somehow backfired over the years, resulting in much unhappiness. So it is with this mindset that I have been struggling to change to be a different person - one who is a little more private, keeps things to myself, and try to not let the words and actions of others affect me.
It has proven to be a very difficult challenge if I had to be honest to myself. I have been battling with my past and present, while trying to plan something a very joyous celebration that is to happen in the coming months. I won't go into details, but I have been through some of my darkest days and weeks, in the last couple of years, and I still cannot break free from it.
After much discussion, I will be flying home in a few days. It is with hope that the trip will help lessen my anxiety and stress, but also hopefully, surround me with the people I love and provide me with the much needed human interaction that I have been seriously deprived of the last 15 months.
If I am able to keep my promise and change myself for the better, then this might be the most personal post you will come across on this site. At least the only depressing post if possible.
Thus, it is with very mixed feelings, that I continue this project - an opportunity to busy myself and commit to something in hopes of feeling normal again.
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